in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
