I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
