And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
