apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
