he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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