I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
