I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
