Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
