I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
