And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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