So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
