Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
