if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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