How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
