i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
