Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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