someone threw a dead crab at me
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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