I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I want her autograph on my taint
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
