I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
