Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
