I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
