I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize