operation have a gay friend backfired
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
