Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
