K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize