i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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