i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Randomize
