So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Even my vagina gasped.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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