i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
