Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
