is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
