Can Purell be used as lube?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So much Jack, so little girl.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
