Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
