sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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