Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
