he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
