By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
