we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
