Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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