What a fucking waste of an outfit
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
