I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
