dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
