why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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