Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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