I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
