I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
