If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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