Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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