I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
wanna go halves on a baby?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We have so much sex to catch up on
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
