Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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