my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
