so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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