I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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