enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
