Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
