First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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