So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
should my penis look like a turkey
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
