if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
why do cheetos always look like penises
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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