I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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