just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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