Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
