I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
