Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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