guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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